Monday, July 24, 2017

Make It Easy Too.

*Publishing old draft*
 Hi my best friend-diary,
After a long period of hibernation, it feels good again to meet you. I’m not in the mood of writing, but I make it as a compulsory to myself as writing is a good way of healing. Yes, I have been broke for too long. Poor me. Cant eat well, cant sleep well, cant work well, crying in a bed, bathroom, car, streets and even everywhere. Worse right?
I remember the day you told me you were leaving
I remember the make-up running down my face
And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them
Like every single wish we ever made
I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape

'Cause I'm not fine at all
Gratefully, I have many many of supportive friends around me who texts, dm, calls and sit in front of me asking for my condition. They all encourage me to stand up again after falling from this high gorge. The heart breaking feeling is so so so bad and has a lot of negative-side. Nauzubillah, hopefully, I wont get to go thru this pain again. I cant see anything blooming anymore after the broke-up. It's so dark. It’s really hard to go thru a day without the same routines, no more text from you – you have no idea how frequently I’m looking for your text. But now I realize, it’s not so bad. I'm getting better now I guess.

 “I hate you for giving up on us. I hate you for hurting me.
I hate you for making me cry. I hate you for leaving me.
I hate you for what you’ve done. I hate you for ruining everything we had.
I hate you for making me trust you when you were just gonna break that trust.
I hate you for making me love you so much. Mostly, I hate you for making me a fool because i still love you despite everything you put me through...”

Dear Faisal, it’s really hard for me to get up from this high falling, but realize the fact of that I’m just falling alone make it easier. I have no idea why you are asking me to keep you as a friend on instagram while all you did back then is showing off your sweetness with your new gf (old xceli). Are you wishing me to see it and keep crying? Seriously? Since, you did that, I got so many unexpected reactions from everyone. I’m ashamed. But thanks to you, because you make it easier for me, by showing off your true color.

A year and I cant believe I still crying myself over you even throwing my phone (really regret that fool). I have no strength to remove you from my friendlist & contactlist, deleting all our conversation, but thanks again to my friend who took my phone and did that. Because she knew, I wll never do that even I promised i will do it. My phone hang for 3 times just to delete our chat. Eventho, there are still undeleted files left in my hiding place, hahaha im so sly. Can you imagine how long the chat was? Ya, I know you dont even care. So now as you are showing everyone you are so happy with the new one, I decide to let everything go. I realize I need to move on too. Eventho, God knows you did to me. All the lies. I decide to change my dua'. Start from our first met,my dua' was always to you, I always pray that we will end up together but now I will let you happy with your choice. I really hope we are not meant to be together. I admit that I’m so sad in fact of losing you as you always promised
you wont ever leave me. You lied and your new gf is a liar too, promise to stand by my side konon. Nak je aku print screen semua conversation kau dulu forward balik kat diri sendiri tu.


Thanks for all of the concerns and supports friends, I’m so touched. Everyone is telling me to move on, everyone loves me, no one wants to see me broken for that long & bad. At first, I admit, I refuse to take their advices,  i tot they dont understand me. “Hey, you are not in my shoes, so dont ever think it is so easy!” But later on I realize, they all already went thru this phase, people love me, they advising me alot because they are all concern bout me, I’m  so blind by thinking they dont understand. I’m so selfish, why keep I’m hurting myself even the truth is already in front of me. I realize, sadness wont make me feel better, but it does drag me to the darkest place. I need to walk away from this source of pain, so that I can start healing.

Thanks Allah for these ups and downs moments. Thanks for choosing me. I’m regretting nothing. I read a lot of motivation stories. I noticed that this hardship make me closer to Allah as I’m always crying to Him. I learned to not trusting people so much. Even after the thousand of promises, people will leave me anyway. Forgiveness will help me obtain inner peace, I’ll forgive myself again and again. Today, I promise myself I wont stress too much over this matter again. Do believe, Allah chose me to go thru this hardship for a reason.
Really thanks to everyone who love me unconditionally.
Attached this for myself reminder ;
We never meet, but thanks for the spirit booster.
Sweetest
Hahaha, sorry, I cant help from laugh. Seriously that kind of question? I knew you've been contacting with her.
Nak je aku forward conversation korang. But it's okay thanks btw start from the beginning.
The one yang paling tired bagi nasihat kat aku. Sian dia penat tetiap hari dengar aku merapu.


 


Thanks girlfriends. A lots more. Tapi biarlah. Aku nak lupakan semua ni.


“No matter how shattered your heart is, never lose hope. Cry to Him for as long as you need. Only He can turn tears of sadness into pure joy.”

Your heart will heal. You have to believe that sayang.

i'm hungry. Pen off.

Saturday, July 22, 2017

Antara PTPTN dan JPA (Part 2)

Hi  Assalamualaikum..


Have a beautiful day to everyone who reading this right now! I have go thru a deep thought to decide whether or not bout writing this post. It's because if I really want to share, I already did that for a couples years ago - sebab aku takut korang salah pilih. And I hope I really hit the 'Publish' button in the end and not to Draft as I always did. Hahaha.

My last post was on 2013, really cant believe its help people. So as promised here goes the third entry.

For me, it's never wrong to share you experience, not only the good experience but people also need to know your bad one so that people wont go thru the bad days like how you did!

Sorry for my English, so tujuan post ni, aku cuma nak tolong anyone yang pernah search macam mana nak stop PTPTN, macam mana nak pilih kalau korang dapat dua-dua pilihan tu? Aku cuma  nak tolong students or should i call you adik by now? Damn, I'm aging! yang confuse , im trying to help because i was there before, searching really hard, inbox people, drop comments to ask even i never know them, so lets me help you even it's just a small sharing...

I'm not going to write about their benefits...because I believe there are a thousand of websites about that. And in the end of the reading, you will get the answer "of course JPA is the best one! you dont have to pay them back!" "Kau bodoh ke nak tolak rezeki dah dapat scholar JPA, you are the chosen one! just grab that!"

Aku ex-student degree. Memulakan degree dengan dibiayai PTPTN. Sampai semester tiga, aku dapat surat, JPA aku lulus. Aku akan dapat scholar JPA bermula sem depan (sem 4). Tapi aku kena stopkan PTPTN. Tak boleh ada bertindih. Masuk sem 4 aku dapat dua-dua, sebab PTPTN cakap masa tu dia kena habiskan satu tahun untuk pengajian. Dia kira pakai tahun, bukan pakai sem. So habis 2 tahun pengajian, aku takkan dapat dah PTPTN. I go with the flow. Aku baca blog, websites, semua cakap grab JPA if you get it. So aku follow that step.

Setahu aku, seingat aku, (forgive me if i'm wrong - 3 tahun dah tinggal study), kalau you dapat JPA ni of course lah you punya result okay kan? PTPTN dah menjanjikan, kalau you grad with the first class, you dont have to pay them back. Part ni lah yang cliche bagi aku. Seminggu aku fikir benda ni. Dua kali aku call pihak PTPTN nak sahihkan benda ni. Kau rasa kau confirm tak kau akan grad 1st class? Dah tiga sem kau exam and got the results. Pada masa tu aku yakin 80% yang aku boleh grad 1st class. And yup, I got dean awards for all semesters & grad with 1st class.

So, ingat tak tadi, aku dah stopkan aku punya PT separuh jalan, dan untuk sem 4 ianya bertindih. Sekarang, aku dah habis study, i need to pay that amount back - amount yang overlap sahaja! Tapi dah dua tahun aku ulang-alik pergi PT, nak bayar balik, ingat ye korang, duit PT tu hutang, jangan hidup dalam berhutang. Aku nak bayar balik thats why aku ulang-alik pergi ofis dia, tapi sampai sekarang diorang suruh tunggu surat , for two years! and I never get any letter from them! So frustrated!

So, nasihat aku, kalau korang yakin korang boleh grad dengan kelas pertama, just continue to use PTPTN. Study smart, and change that loan to scholarship. Jangan tamak macam aku. HAHAHA.


JPA hanya start from sem yang korang ditawarkan tu, dia takde cover2 yang lepas. Boleh refer kat surat tawaran JPA :)


Tapi, kalau dah dari awal dapat JPA, jangan gegatal pulak pergi cancel and pilih PTPTN.
Dan, kalau tak yakin boleh grad first class degree, you can choose my path, cuma sem yang bertindih tu je kena bayar balik. Cheaper dari bayar semua sem kan.
Of course you cant have two sources in the same time!

Hope this entry help!
Yeay! I really hit Publish button!
Okay lapar, nak gi masak.


Changes?



Morning weekend.



Deciding to change a lit bit appearance on my blog as a step to make a better start of life, but i cant find anything to fit the taste. That 6 plus years-old-header needs to be change too as i'm not using the old URL anymore. Changes is pretty hard right?

hmm tengoklah nanti kalau rajin godek lagi

Start form early of this year there is a rumor saying that we will be moving to a new office building, - and i never wish it will be true - and last Wednesday the boss of the bosses changed the rumor to the fact. Damn, I really really dont want to move from this most comfortable bed and private-room. Love this spot really much. Sure, the daily routines gonna change a bit. Changes is pretty hard right? but its sure for the good (really not for me).

...but i still keep a little hope that thing wont happen hahaha!
So lazy.

ZZZZZZZzzzzzz...


Friday, July 21, 2017

TOUCHABLE


One most sure thing i will do at someone’s-close wedding solemnization is crying. After tok imam confirms the akad is sah, and recite dua, at that time surely i’ll start my teary drama. It’s countless how many times already. I don’t know why but my heart is so touchable at that time, it is a beautiful feeling,to see people happy & blessed as they found their spouse and finally get married, follow the sunnah of Muhamad & Islam, I sometimes imagine a lot of angels are being there, happily blessed the moments & the wedding. It’s so undescribe-able-wonderful moment for me. *Damn, my eyes are teary right now*




Last Saturday I went to my best friend’s engagement at Johor, Azreen. She is so beautiful. Alhamdulillah, after 6 years of relationship, she and her bf decided to be together-forever. Semoga dipermudahkan ke next stage my dear! Everything was going smoothly, both of the parties agreed bout the estimated date of wedd and wang hantaran. After everything was done, here comes for the family photo. Her mother was crying, missing her late husband i guess. Sigh, here come a waterfall, I can’t hold back my tears because i understand that feeling very well,- the feeling of missing someone we love. Quickly, I entered a room because my tears went unstoppable. People cant see this!
I really missed my daddy, every single day of my life....
Missed his concerns, jokes, advices, missed his phone calls to check up on me even there’s nothing special happened, loves, supports, cheers and a lot more. I really really missed you daddy. Really wish you could watch me growing up, welcoming me from the door everytime i go home, buying a lot of dishes as always do to spoil me and to make sure i’ll always be healthy, be the one who will hands me over to the right guy, playing with my kids, i really want to pamper you very much like how you always did to me, and really wish to watch you growing old under my guardian. I really wish to do that. But it’s so sad that I cant......
Dear daddy,
It has been 5 years since you leave me. A lot of things did happened to me, ups and downs. I have a lot of stories to tell to you, start from I have graduated with PINK Selempang for you. But you are not even there! I got a work in this big city daddy, I managed to have a car, I also brought a motorcycle for myself! Ayah, could you please listen to my story for once? Can you respond? Can you please call me for once, hug and pat my back and telling me that i’m doing good? Fool.
You know ayah, i feel so lost lately. I have a very low-self confident, easily demotivated. Im not living at my best. I feel so lonely daddy, sometimes I feel like i’m just doing well, but sometimes i’m sure i’m not. Sometimes at the junction, i don’t know which road should i take. I don’t know if this living is a good living or should I get out from this screw-up living? I’m clueless. I have no one to share. I really need an adult to advice me a lot of things they have experienced it. Guide me, tell me if this is wrong or right. I need someone to tell me that everything gonna be okay, support me everytime i feel so lost. You know Ayah, someone has played with my heart. I was so broke. I took more than a year to heal. Your pity little girl has been grown up well but then she has been fooled by a guy. How could people be that cruel ayah? Ayah, I want you back!!!!
You know daddy, mommy missed you so much. She always says your name. Even she is not crying in front of me but i know, she always crying. She is so lonely. The thing she always said “Hidup ni dah takkan sama macam dulu...” Ayah, I think I’m not a good daughter. Am I do a right thing now?

.....i cant write anymore....
Dear daddy,
Please be happy there. Tuhan, please let my father in peace. Gembirakan dia sebagaimana dia gembirakan aku dari kecik. Daddy, do you know? You already have 2 cute granddaughters, Khadijah and Aisyah. Nama isteri2 Rasulullah. Cantikkan nama diorang? Dont you want to see and play with them? Oh god, I seriously cant open my eyes right now. Waterfall really bad.
Semoga Ayah tenang kat sana, I’m happy to write this letter to you cos I’m really missed to talk to you. Read this anytime you free. Doakan Hada kuat ayah. I have been broken for so long.
Goodnite daddy, Love you so much.
20/07/2017 2307.

See With Your Positiveness.

Hi Assalamualaikum..


I got a lot reactions after i post something on my instagram...

"Amboi Noni post gambor makanan sokmo, seronoknya makan"

"Ee ji ban..ee ji bann..hahaha"

"Hey Noni you are so busy ye every weekend, i saw your insta story you're going to Johor & Melaka, you tak penat ke? You always have an activity on weekend.."

"Hey kenapa down semalam? Dah okay belum ni?"

Receiving all this kind of reactions, sometimes make me feel alive, heyy they do noticed i'm exist.

Teringat dulu when i refuse to post my activity kat instagram. Skytrex rasanya (2 years and i still remember his words). "Taknak la aku post gambar ni Asrol, malulah, nanti org tanya macam2, cakap aku xajak.." "Post je Noni, tu hak kau lah, xkan kau nak ajak semorang, post je, bila orang tahu kau dah pernah pergi sini, nanti kau boleh guide dyorang pulak.." Yes, Asrol is a supporter, a good listener, a good talker and has a very high leadership skill. A leader of everything. He shares a lot of his stories to me. Rasa macam tak layak je kawan dgn dia tapi kenapa malu nak berkawan kan? Tapi apa yang dia cakap tu exactly right.
A moment after i post gambar wall climbing, i received a lot of questions. First time pergi ikut orang, Asrol yang kenalkan. Pergi for the second one sebab "Asrol, my friends nak try wall climbing, you boleh guide ke?" Haaaa nampak tak the improvement? sebab tu tajuk post ni, see with your positiveness. Bila kita buat niat yang baik, inshaallah income dia nanti akan baik. Same goes whenever i post gambar hiking. Its good when someone dm and ask for more information.


Most of the things we share, have pros and cons. It's depend on that individual to take it as positive or bad. Boleh jadi orang akan cakap "cis, poyo budak ni menunjuk" but whaeva, it's your life.

Oh i missed one of the feedback,

"Kau dah kenapa asyik post meroyan aje kat insta? Gila ape?..."
Glup!

Sometimes we dont relieved the silly thing we did, but really thanks for the feedback, i never post meroyan post anymore after that. Hahahahaha.

Happiness is having a true friend.

Happy Friday! Today is sundown day, but obviously no sundown for me!


Friday, July 14, 2017

Love Note to Self

Hi.

Copying this as she spoke out half from my mind. A note for myself because i'm hard in listening an advice - read as stubborn
.

THE QUEST FOR LOVE

Relationships has never been something I’m brave enough to write about, especially in public. The love between a man and a woman to me is very personal. Add religion into the equation and it just becomes very sacred to me. I do not wish to write too long. However, I just need to let a few things off my chest because it has been bothering me for quite a while now.

Before we jump into the topic, yes I am single. Have I ever been in a relationship? The answer is also yes. I know how it feels like to love and be loved the same way I know how it feels to be completely shattered. You see, different people have different definitions of love. I strongly believe that the people we fall in love with can sometimes reflect the kind of person we are. For instance, I really value religion, knowledge and ambition. Thus, if i were to marry someone, I look for someone with these exact characteristics. I want someone who has the same goals that I have. Someone who will not only fight with me to succeed in this world, but also in the hereafter. I need someone who works just as hard as I do, not someone who is always tired and only cares about sleep. No more time should be wasted with whiny and lazy ambitionless boys. If you’re serious to pursue a relationship, look for a man.

If there’s one thing a relationship has taught me, it is the importance of maturity when it comes to love. NEVER indulge in a relationship just because it’s a ‘nice’ feeling. If you want to be with someone might as well be with a person who will help bring the best out of you, spiritually, mentally and also emotionally. If the relationship you are in is leading you towards the haraam, leave. No buts. It is just the end of a toxic relationship, not the end of the world. 

By the way people, it is perfectly OKAY to be single. I have been single for over a year now, and wallahi I have never been this happy and I have been achieving so much. I always tell my friends that when you are single, you have 27 hours a day. What it essentially mean is that you’ll have more time for yourself. I know some people who can only seek comfort in the presence of their significant other. After one relationship ends they feel the need to jump into another. Chill people, chill. Take a breather. You don’t need another person to feel sufficient. Try to be comfortable and at peace with yourself with or without a relationship. You have the rest of your life to be spent with your significant other, so while you’re single, might as well really embrace/enjoy it.

Okay last point before I hit the sack, never settle. Ya Allah I can’t stress this enough. Being single is better than being with the wrong person. As they say, it’s better to wait long than marry wrong. If we dont know what we deserve, we will always settle for less. But to deserve more, we should first be more. Build your character before you choose to build a family. Study hard, learn new skills, take up a hobby, read more, travel. There’s so much that can be done when you’re single for your personal development. Take care of yourself. Your health, spirituality, intelligence, akhlak (good character) etc & inshaAllah you’ll get someone who’d do the same for you.
Jim Rohn once said, “The greatest gift you can give somebody is your own personal development. I used to say, ‘If you will take care of me, I will take care of you.’ Now I say, ‘I will take care of me for you, if you will take care of you for me”.
I know this entry is all over the place, but I’m half awake so do forgive me. I hope you find this post helpful. As for me, call me philophobic but I am personally afraid to be in a relationship again. But when the time comes, I hope the guy I end up with will be proud with the lady I have become. If you happen to read this, whoever you may be, please know that not a day passes that I don’t make do’a for you, and for us. Wherever you are in this world, I hope you are also striving to be your best self. May Allah make it easy for us to find our way to each other. See you when I see you!


Have Faith Sayang.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Is your life going smoothly?



Updating a new entry in this morning as my head is full of thoughts (can read as messy) once I woke up. I need to spill it out because writing is one of the stress reliever for me. Walaupun penulisan i tak sedap - who cares. Yesterday was my passive day at office. For 9 working hours, I just spent bout 2 hours doing works, an hour for lunch, an hour for watching Running Man (during break time), and the rest were chatting, web exploring, blog reading and searching for job vacancy. - this really make me thinking bout life.

Bored.
-Bukan hari hari bosan macam ni, once in a while je especially lepas abis production week.

Tak tahu lah nak start dari mana.

Getting lifeless. (sometimes feeling - mungkin sebab in a PMS phase sekarang) Bukannya tak bersyukur dengan rezeki yang Tuhan bagi. Tapi mungkin sebab tercompare hidup dengan orang lain? But I did compare myself for a good life. Is it wrong?

Scrolling down on my Instagram's feed every single day. Seeing how happy everyone's life, going to vacation, having money to eat an expensive meal, having money to go shopping, a bf making a suprise to his beloved, having a blessed with the engagement and marriage life, having so happy with their baby. Every single day, there is always a happy story to share. No, I'm not getting jealous, iri hati or busuk hati with others' rezeki. I'm not that negative person to be called, honestly I'm so happy for them for being able achieve thier dream & enjoying their rezeki.

It's just a briefly feeling that flies thru my heart, "When will can I achieve my dreams like others did?" "Sampai bila aku nak tengok tanpa buat apa-apa?"

Still remember a few of conversations i had with my friends last Raya ;

With a my friend doctor, she looks so so thin.

"Seronok xxx jadi dokter? Finally you get want you want to be., achieve your dream. Mesti best kan, masuk masuk gaji tinggi..." "Mu tahu aku macam nak mati dah, makan pun tak sempat wei, rushing running here running there, kena marah setiap hari, tak terkira dah berapa kali nagis...solat pun kadang-kadang ada yang tertinggal, xsempat.."

Hmm.

Another friend,
Masa tu kat open house, and ada ramai kawan-kawan making a group then she just drag me a little bit away from others to tell her story 'cause lama gila tak jumpa dia ;


"Noni, aku tak share lagi, tahu tak, aku tak percaya wehh, aku dapat 5 bulan gaji bonus (darab pointer) untuk raya tahun ni" "Berapa weh dapat?" "Aku dapat 10k weh, terkejut gila, tak expect langsung.."  "Alhamdulillah, murah rezeki kau..."

Ohmaigad. Speechless. She is in the same age of me. Masuk kerja pun lebih kurang sama dengan aku. I do happy for her, sebab aku tahu she deserved that. She deserved that rezeki so much. Ikhlas, aku langsung tak cemburu dengan rezeki dia because I love her, so I really happy to see she's so happy living her life, having a baby and loving husband. But then i felt gloomy for myself, am I not deserve that happiness and rezeki?

And...

She is my best friend who I respect, love and share a lot of things. Jumpa masa raya aritu, and we always will updating our progress of life, she asked bout me first and I still remember what I said to her ;


"xxxx, seronok ke beraya dengan buah hati?, mesti seronok kan ade orang keep in touch everyday, tanya pasal kita setiap hari" "Seronok menda nya Noni, retak menanti belah dah ni, stress aku raya raya ni pun buat hal"
Gulp.

And...
Applying a leave in email, so everyone will noticed I will take a leave;


"Noni, ambik cuti nak pergi raya mana lagi tuuu?" "Hahaha, kawan tunang lah" "Kawan tunang?" "A ah kawan tunang bukan Noni, Noni takde rezeki lagi.." "Takpelah Noni, be happy with your own life dulu, Noni muda lagi.." "Ala, xxx boleh la cakap macam tu, akak dah kawin. Hahaha" "Who said kahwin takde masalah? Who said kawin tak gaduh? Who said bila dah kawin 24h happy? happy dengan diri sendiri dulu, kalau dengan diri sendiri tak happy macam mana nak happykan orang lain.."

Hehehehe...

Ada lagi lah a few stories, pasal kawan nak bertunang, jumpa kawan-kawan yang dah dukunganak. jumpa kawan yang dah bercerai pun ada. Oh, life is so mystery.

I'm not being ungrateful. I know everyone has diff path of life. Everyting Allah's plan is always the best and perfect rather than my own plan. Allah dah tulis rezeki setiap insan tu sejak dia lahir lagi. Ya, I know everthing. Dont worry, I will slap myself everytime I felt ungrateful or merungut. I still manage to istighfar everytime I felt down bout my life. bcause I know it's wrong to mempersoalkan rezeki yg Allah bagi. There are still a lot of people who wish to be at my place right? I have read a lot of motivational quotes & stories. And also, I have a 50+ pictures of good quotes that I download & printscreen in my phone. I always manage to cheer up myself evertime I felt down.

But I do believe sometimes, I can and I deserve to get more. Is it wrong? So clueless bout my life. Envy when others have a very smooth and easy life. I believe me myself can do better to improve myself. Read a lot of motivation in trusting bout rezeki. Tawakkal is trusting and realizing Allah has a better plan for me. But I guess I still need a lot workhard to tawakal for everything I want.




Wake up lazy Noni. Wake up.

Sunday, July 9, 2017

Just Do It!


1000 AM. It’s SUNDAY!

Fuhhh finally, I can lying down on my own bed with a bundle of clothes -need to be fold- besides me and wishing to fall sleep ASAP. My head want a nap but my eyes resist it. Ahhh I’m so sleepy but the same time I have a long-list-things to do today. My head stucks in the situation "Wake up and stop wasting your time Noni" and "I'm tired so lets just take a break first to gain back an energy before doing things again, shall we, body? What a short weekend. Can I EL tomorrow? pheww ;p

Why so tired? Actually I just got back from Ana’s house - rushing to her house yesterday at 4PM after finishing my never-ending works at office. Semalam Ana buat half-open house, so weols mengada ngada pergi sleep over sana, bajet bajet Ana bujang lagi. Hahaha.

Disebabkan Ana buat open house, so Jaja & I, planning to bring something to support her party. So we just come up with an idea to make kuah Lontong - sebab Ana buat Soto, so kita curi jelah dia punya nasi impit hihi. Tak pernah pernah pun buat, so main redah je lah. Sedap tak sedap belakang cerita. Jaja, you should know, Im so grateful to have you as my friend as you always support me on the things I’ve no bold to do. You are a very positive friend and I guess I’m lucky.

Tak pernah buat kuah lontong so resepi nya main test and error mana bahan yang ada.

RESEPI KUAH LONTONG/LODEH JAJA & NONI

(For plus minus 12 persons – tapi ramai lagi yg boleh makan)

Blend together ;
3 ulas bawang putih, 3 labu bawang merah, 5 biji cili & seinci kunyit.


Sayur ;

3 batang carrot, satu plastic kacang buncis/panjang, setengah bulat kobis

Tempe 1 pack, Serai, Santan 1 kotak besar.

Sepatutnya letak sekali tapi last minute cari barang tak jumpa ;

Tauhu, Soon & Fukup.

STEP STEP TRY & ERROR

- Sukat air dalam periuk 1L ; sebab guna santan 1pack ; 500ml

-Masukkan bahan kisar & serai ; biar menggelegak dulu.

-Masukkan sayur – carrot & kacang – kasi half cooked.

-Masukkan tempe.

-Tuang santan dan jaga api & kuah lontong tadi.

-Masukkan kobis & garam + secukup rasa.




 Standby nak letak serbut kunyit tapi kaler dia dah cantik sangat sebab blend kunyit hidup tadi.



+ Sambal bilis – Resepi campak campak sebab bahan tak cukup hahaha.



SEDAP. Tu yang orang lain cakap ye, bukan weols. So Alhamdulillah jadi jugak kuah lontong. Satisfied with the taste. Another achievement unlocked! Tunjuk gambar kat mak, pastu mak suruh belajar buat dalca pulak -.-“


Betullah quotes “ The first time doing new thing is the best feeling ever” Sebab tu lah first love is the truest feeling ever sebab kita put a lot of cautions and with a fullness heart on it. Ehh tetiba. Haha


Ehh tetiba dah hilang mengantuk. Ingat nak sambung beraya rumah YAYA tapi YAYA tak reply pulak.


Cantiknya kengkawan i.

Eyes off.



Friday, July 7, 2017

Fasting

Salam 13 Syawal eberione

It has been a week since im back to work after a long Raya's break & Alhamdulillah I'm done fasting for 3 days in Syawal. It's a tough thing to do as everyone is eating and offering me the kuih raya so yummy and because of that seduction I decided to skip my fast last Wednesday! Hahaha

Fasting in Syawal is the good thing right? It guess everyone knows bout it. It's sunnah. I'm just wanna settle it fast before i have my period break or otherwise i will regretting and hating myself for being so lazy. So I'm trying now to skip that part. But still i don't understand why there is still a bad (or stupid?) voice to ejek me on that - A person was offering me a food and I was rejecting it nicely. She kind of shocked so the person besides telling her that I'm fasting and she was like "Noni mana ada orang puasa awal2 macam ni. Jangan tipu lah.." Like whaaaaatt? I'm just chuckled to that wow sentence trying to look cool even the words are knifing me inside cos im find that funny tho. Hahaha.
Later on, she still provoked me to go out for lunch as she cant believe I'm still fasting.

Seriously what's wrong with this girl -.-'

What people think?

I'm not showing off to everyone at the office that I'm so gooodddd - coz i'm not-, so religious to fast earlier or wateva. It's never be wrong to grab the opportunity guys. As you always did it too for dunya. Fasting is the ibadah between only you and Allah and im not doing that to get people's blessing.

Don't try to discourage me as I'm not affected. So everyone who is been the same boat as me, don't discourage yourself, at least lets finish 6 days of fasting in Syawal and qada' our Ramadhan fasting asap. It's for our own good kan. Bak kata Fynn Jamal, kau nak buat kebaikan kau buat je. Takyah peduli ape orang cakap. Tutup telinga.

Subject closed.

Perut masuk angin.

I have one bad habit. It's to skip taking meal. As i told, i might (sometimes) becoming a lazy person. Hahahaha i guess this habit come up since i start working. Yesterday was my production day at office, which -every month- i will come back at night at this day. I always skipped my dinner for that day - as you're tired and what you just want is your comforting bed to lay your tired body and clear your messy mind.  

So yesterday, as I'm fasting, so i just had time to grab a plain water, hot milo and kuih raya at office, planning to have a better meal at home. But I finished my work so late - at 10+pm. Fortunately, my younger brother is coming! So, i persuade him to accompany me dinner. HAHAHA. Im so tired and hungry so I dont think I still can cooking at this hour otherwise I will go back home and sleep with an empty stomach like I always did. Thanks for my brother to treat me well.


But still I cant eat well, perut dah masuk anginnnnnnnnnnnn T.T Wake up this morning with ill stomach and rush to the toilet. Need to cancel my intention to fast today. Maigaddddd, perut dah masuk angin. Can I take EL boss?

*lying down with towel*

Salam Jumaat peeps!

Monday, July 3, 2017

Memories - Part 1

Hello! Assalamualaikum.
Im just safely landing in PJ , driving ALONE all the way from my hometown after a very long Raya’s break! A second after putting my bags down, I grab my phone, searching for Mommy's chat in Whatapps and whining annoyingly, I wanna go back home! I should not be hereeeee!  Arghh makin tua makin homesick!
Unpacking all my things into the wardrobe and suddenly terselak diary lama. (Iols mengemas memang macam ni-it takes a year to complete) Read everything and really cant believe what had i wrote there. Hahaha, even me myself pun malu nak baca balik - that love notes, a sweet conversation i had and even a parking and movie tickets were inserted!- what a word la yang i wrote but im really enjoy reading it, all the words were in the exciting tones, all those feelings back then were really true, suddenly all those memories are playing like a movie in my head, until i do not notice i put a smile on my face. All of those true moments with the bright feeling. *Smile to myself again* but wait...!! Heyyyy what i'm doinggg??!! Should....I.....throw.......it now? *Sorok balik diary bawah baju*
Sitting down by myself, back then I notice, it’s really wonderful to read again my life journey as I found my life is quite wonderful, challenging and happy! I did so much things. I really don’t want to forget all of those moments. Lama gila tak menulis. So here am I tonite, turning on my lappy and Maroon 5 Playlists to gain the mood, even it’s olredi 11.30PM and I need to work tomorrow! Tomorrow gonna be a long day at office....but wat eva.
I need to remeber this atmosphere too.

I have a lot of pending stories. Sunway Lagoon? Phuket? Perhentian? Redang? Gambang Waterpark? Roadtrip Penang,Perak Melaka or Selangor? Which one should I write first? Oh goshhh so muchhh! this is why I hate skipping story.
Lets start with....
Girls days out in Selangor.
Admitted, my English is not very good, but bear with it, im gonna use it as this is the only way i can practice to improve.
Drop the grammars please ;p
September, 2016.
Introducing the actors ; We are 6 pretty girls in a group ; form in the high school, 15th years old.
Izaty, Ain, Mira, Aniq, Jie and Me. We were so close back then, sharing a lot of our stories & spending our times growing up together. Until graduated from high school and we make our ways separately. Jie and I went together to Asasi, Ain moved to Bangi for good, Aniq & Mira went to diploma and Izaty went to A-Level and flied (is this word exist?) to Mesir for Medic. And after that we really have limited times to spend together. Raya pun sempat jumpa a few hours and that was not enuf to catch up eveything! Oh guys, if I'm not mistaken, Whatapps is still not exist at that times and we are cheerish our realtionship thru horrible comments in FB HAHAHA. Did you still remember? Maigad Im so drown in memories.
As time flies really fast, we are now busy living our life’s. And who knows? We become an adult from teenager today. I cant believe we are already 25th years old now. Izaty just finished her abroad study and terus making an announcement to get married. We are really an adult, are we? Sorry but I just don’t want to accept that fact. So to celebrate her big day, and to celebrate a few months left for her as a single woman, and to celebrate our aged-so-close-friendships we are agreed to go for the HOLIDAY! YEAY!
Do you still remember girls how dramatic our discussion was? Should I mention here sape yang sampai left group? Sape yang hilang tak balas balas langsung wasep for 2 weeks right? walaupun dah double blue ticks until we need to contact her younger brother? Sape yang sampai aku kena DM sorang sorang Tanya apa yang setuju and tak setuju? Sape yang agreed with all the plans but at the day of event she was like “Eh, kita nak gi mana ni? Eh, what we are going to do later? Seriously we need to bring sport shoes, for what?” – Btw, this last person was you AIN. HAHAHA. So funny. Everything is still fresh in my mind, maybe because im the one who was really really super excited and you girls trust me so much to plan on the tentative. And thanks Jie for helping out! All of us did our best!
Oh Mai Gad, I’m so detailed. 
So bila cerita ni nak habis? -.-' but i really don’t want to skipped anything! It’s so precious.
Our first plan was going to TADOM HILL. Sleeping there for a night. Everyone was agreed and we were super duper excited after seeing its nature environment pictures. I was already imagine bout how to snap the pics under the moonlight beside its beautiful lake. Unfortunately, there’s no room for us. Close for booking at that date for an event. Padahal mase tu dah Tanya 2 months earlier.
I have no ideas how to plan this holiday as we agreed to spend as minimum amount of money as majority of us are still not working. Tapi yang dah kerja ni pun takde duit jugak -..- Everyday, I used my free time at the office to browse about the best place in Selangor. Trying my best to choose the place that suit to everyone. Beach,sunset, pool, sky-ing, good food, happy pictures and shopping. And I made it!! It was so relax but so full of fun things right? 

It's almost 1am and i need to have a rest!
See you pretty soon loves! TBC! I promise!

Night Sweethearts.

Gold

Dari zaman budak budak sampai sekarang kisah malam raya aku lebih kurang sama je. Takde banyak yang beza. Mungkin kalau nak beza banyak lepas ni pun bila raye rumah mertua pulak. Hahaha. Tu pun kalau ade rezeki kahwin. Insha Allah.

Rutin start dari lepas siap berbuka puasa, bersihkan diri masing2 semua solat magrib Isyak then terus kemas rumah. Semua kena tolong pasang carpet, pasang alas meja, letak kuih dalam balang, sapu rumah. Then sambil sambil tu main mercun. Aku ingat last skali main mercun kaw kaw punya dengan arwah ayah. Lepas tu takde dah, xsyok sgt layan mercun sebab biase stok mercun bebanyak ayah je yang selalu beli. Ayah, IMY :'

Lepas siap kemas rumah aku akan iron baju raya semua orang. Sampai berpeluhh. Sampai give up dah dah esok pulak sambung. Then, acara masukkan duit dalam sampul & yang paling tak missed every year, pakai emas. Pakai gelang and pakai rantai.

Tak masuk dapur? 
Biasenya mami dgn tok akan prepare all the things utk masak petang raya tu and pagi esok baru bangun gelap2 tuk masak. So, lampu dapur memang takkan on sampai melebihi pukul 12 pun.  

Tahun ni mak suruh aku masak tuk hari raya 1st. Aku buat nasi arab dua puyuk. Setengah kilo setengah kilo sebab piyuk kecik aje. Yeee, aku mengaku ni 1st time aku bangun pukul 4 pagi tuk masak. Hahaha. Paling awal dulu pukul 5 pagi gigih bangun buat sushi tuk ex bf. Punyalah excited kita nak bagi orang yg kita syg makan air tangan kita. Hmm gigih betul. 

Seronok tengok ahli keluarga sepupu sepapak mak and pak sedara makan nasik arab aku sampai habis. Habisss woi dua puyukkkkk. Fuhhhh terus hilang penat bangun awal. Ala, instant je pun rempah dia. Semua puji sedappp. Ni rase semangat nak masak lagi next time. Hihihi. 

Ohh, back to our main topic,
So lepas dah iron baju, isi duit dalam sampul, adalah acara pakai gelang, dulu aku dengan kaklong mesti pakai sesama. Yang kasar sikit mak kasi kaklong, yang halus halus mak kasi aku. Sekarang takde dah, huhu kaklong dah pakai mas yang hubby dia beli. 

So tinggal lah aku je terkedek kedek pakai yang mak punya. Boleh pilih je sukati nak pakai yang mana. Pilih punya pilih mak bagi aku 3 utas gelang suruh test! Mak suruh pakai tiga weii. Gilo ko apo. Aku test je letak kat tangan semua nak tengok yang mana cantik. Sekali aku suruh mak cabut yang taknak dah tak boleh. Hahahaha. Dan dan mak cakap mak taknak nak cabut balik  -.-' Maka beraya lah aku dua hari dengan 3 utas gelang kat tangan. Berat gila. Penat aku sorok gelang bawah lengan baju tanak bagi orang tengok buang tebiat ke ape budak ni. Kihkih. Masuk hari ketiga aku dah takleh bear dgn berat gelang ni so aku cabut satu utas. 

Tadi aku tengah kemas baju. As tonite gonna be the last night sleeping here. Holiday is over everyone T.T Dah habis rupanya 10 days of my Raya breaks. Kejap jeeee rasa. Nak balik ritu punya lah menghitung hari. Sejam pun rase macam ahhhhh lambat gila jarum jam ni gerakk. Sabotaj ke ape? 10 hari cuti. Who gonna give you this super long break? Aku rase len kali memang aku xdapat dah. Kihkih. Thank you so much my team lead & members for approving my leaves! I'm really satisfied to fulfill all of my mom wishes. For being able sending her here and there and here and there and make her very happy. *proud smile to myself*

So tadi tengah kemas *sambung balik* 
My mum noticed I'm still wearing her gold bracelet. She said "Gelang mak tuuu...." pause a second at that moment and i tot she gonna say, 'pakai leklok, jangan bagi hilang' but the words went to "Jangan lupa buang..." 

Erk -.-

K mami.

No, she is not being stingy. She reminds me bcause im always bring her gold back to KL. Yes I always did. 

Ni pun ade lagi yang belah kiri tak cabut. Diam diam je la kihkihkih

Its already dark here. Mami already fall asleep soundly besides me. Lets sleep mami. I missed you already.  *Lap hingus*