Saturday, July 22, 2017

Antara PTPTN dan JPA (Part 2)

Hi  Assalamualaikum..

Have a beautiful day to everyone who reading this right now! I have go thru a deep thought to decide whether or not bout writing this post. It's because if I really want to share, I already did that for a couples years ago - sebab aku takut korang salah pilih. And I hope I really hit the 'Publish' button in the end and not to Draft as I always did. Hahaha.

My last post was on 2013, really cant believe its help people. So as promised here goes the third entry.

For me, it's never wrong to share you experience, not only the good experience but people also need to know your bad one so that people wont go thru the bad days like how you did!

Sorry for my English, so tujuan post ni, aku cuma nak tolong anyone yang pernah search macam mana nak stop PTPTN, macam mana nak pilih kalau korang dapat dua-dua pilihan tu? Aku cuma  nak tolong students or should i call you adik by now? Damn, I'm aging! yang confuse , im trying to help because i was there before, searching really hard, inbox people, drop comments to ask even i never know them, so lets me help you even it's just a small sharing...

I'm not going to write about their benefits...because I believe there are a thousand of websites about that. And in the end of the reading, you will get the answer "of course JPA is the best one! you dont have to pay them back!" "Kau bodoh ke nak tolak rezeki dah dapat scholar JPA, you are the chosen one! just grab that!"

Aku ex-student degree. Memulakan degree dengan dibiayai PTPTN. Sampai semester tiga, aku dapat surat, JPA aku lulus. Aku akan dapat scholar JPA bermula sem depan (sem 4). Tapi aku kena stopkan PTPTN. Tak boleh ada bertindih. Masuk sem 4 aku dapat dua-dua, sebab PTPTN cakap masa tu dia kena habiskan satu tahun untuk pengajian. Dia kira pakai tahun, bukan pakai sem. So habis 2 tahun pengajian, aku takkan dapat dah PTPTN. I go with the flow. Aku baca blog, websites, semua cakap grab JPA if you get it. So aku follow that step.

Setahu aku, seingat aku, (forgive me if i'm wrong - 3 tahun dah tinggal study), kalau you dapat JPA ni of course lah you punya result okay kan? PTPTN dah menjanjikan, kalau you grad with the first class, you dont have to pay them back. Part ni lah yang cliche bagi aku. Seminggu aku fikir benda ni. Dua kali aku call pihak PTPTN nak sahihkan benda ni. Kau rasa kau confirm tak kau akan grad 1st class? Dah tiga sem kau exam and got the results. Pada masa tu aku yakin 80% yang aku boleh grad 1st class. And yup, I got dean awards for all semesters & grad with 1st class.

So, ingat tak tadi, aku dah stopkan aku punya PT separuh jalan, dan untuk sem 4 ianya bertindih. Sekarang, aku dah habis study, i need to pay that amount back - amount yang overlap sahaja! Tapi dah dua tahun aku ulang-alik pergi PT, nak bayar balik, ingat ye korang, duit PT tu hutang, jangan hidup dalam berhutang. Aku nak bayar balik thats why aku ulang-alik pergi ofis dia, tapi sampai sekarang diorang suruh tunggu surat , for two years! and I never get any letter from them! So frustrated!

So, nasihat aku, kalau korang yakin korang boleh grad dengan kelas pertama, just continue to use PTPTN. Study smart, and change that loan to scholarship. Jangan tamak macam aku. HAHAHA.

JPA hanya start from sem yang korang ditawarkan tu, dia takde cover2 yang lepas. Boleh refer kat surat tawaran JPA :)

Tapi, kalau dah dari awal dapat JPA, jangan gegatal pulak pergi cancel and pilih PTPTN.
Dan, kalau tak yakin boleh grad first class degree, you can choose my path, cuma sem yang bertindih tu je kena bayar balik. Cheaper dari bayar semua sem kan.
Of course you cant have two sources in the same time!

Hope this entry help!
Yeay! I really hit Publish button!
Okay lapar, nak gi masak.


Morning weekend.

Deciding to change a lit bit appearance on my blog as a step to make a better start of life, but i cant find anything to fit the taste. That 6 plus years-old-header needs to be change too as i'm not using the old URL anymore. Changes is pretty hard right?

hmm tengoklah nanti kalau rajin godek lagi

Start form early of this year there is a rumor saying that we will be moving to a new office building, - and i never wish it will be true - and last Wednesday the boss of the bosses changed the rumor to the fact. Damn, I really really dont want to move from this most comfortable bed and private-room. Love this spot really much. Sure, the daily routines gonna change a bit. Changes is pretty hard right? but its sure for the good (really not for me).

...but i still keep a little hope that thing wont happen hahaha!
So lazy.


Friday, July 21, 2017


One most sure thing i will do at someone’s-close wedding solemnization is crying. After tok imam confirms the akad is sah, and recite dua, at that time surely i’ll start my teary drama. It’s countless how many times already. I don’t know why but my heart is so touchable at that time, it is a beautiful feeling,to see people happy & blessed as they found their spouse and finally get married, follow the sunnah of Muhamad & Islam, I sometimes imagine a lot of angels are being there, happily blessed the moments & the wedding. It’s so undescribe-able-wonderful moment for me. *Damn, my eyes are teary right now*

Last Saturday I went to my best friend’s engagement at Johor, Azreen. She is so beautiful. Alhamdulillah, after 6 years of relationship, she and her bf decided to be together-forever. Semoga dipermudahkan ke next stage my dear! Everything was going smoothly, both of the parties agreed bout the estimated date of wedd and wang hantaran. After everything was done, here comes for the family photo. Her mother was crying, missing her late husband i guess. Sigh, here come a waterfall, I can’t hold back my tears because i understand that feeling very well,- the feeling of missing someone we love. Quickly, I entered a room because my tears went unstoppable. People cant see this!
I really missed my daddy, every single day of my life....
Missed his concerns, jokes, advices, missed his phone calls to check up on me even there’s nothing special happened, loves, supports, cheers and a lot more. I really really missed you daddy. Really wish you could watch me growing up, welcoming me from the door everytime i go home, buying a lot of dishes as always do to spoil me and to make sure i’ll always be healthy, be the one who will hands me over to the right guy, playing with my kids, i really want to pamper you very much like how you always did to me, and really wish to watch you growing old under my guardian. I really wish to do that. But it’s so sad that I cant......
Dear daddy,
It has been 5 years since you leave me. A lot of things did happened to me, ups and downs. I have a lot of stories to tell to you, start from I have graduated with PINK Selempang for you. But you are not even there! I got a work in this big city daddy, I managed to have a car, I also brought a motorcycle for myself! Ayah, could you please listen to my story for once? Can you respond? Can you please call me for once, hug and pat my back and telling me that i’m doing good? Fool.
You know ayah, i feel so lost lately. I have a very low-self confident, easily demotivated. Im not living at my best. I feel so lonely daddy, sometimes I feel like i’m just doing well, but sometimes i’m sure i’m not. Sometimes at the junction, i don’t know which road should i take. I don’t know if this living is a good living or should I get out from this screw-up living? I’m clueless. I have no one to share. I really need an adult to advice me a lot of things they have experienced it. Guide me, tell me if this is wrong or right. I need someone to tell me that everything gonna be okay, support me everytime i feel so lost. You know Ayah, someone has played with my heart. I was so broke. I took more than a year to heal. Your pity little girl has been grown up well but then she has been fooled by a guy. How could people be that cruel ayah? Ayah, I want you back!!!!
You know daddy, mommy missed you so much. She always says your name. Even she is not crying in front of me but i know, she always crying. She is so lonely. The thing she always said “Hidup ni dah takkan sama macam dulu...” Ayah, I think I’m not a good daughter. Am I do a right thing now?

.....i cant write anymore....
Dear daddy,
Please be happy there. Tuhan, please let my father in peace. Gembirakan dia sebagaimana dia gembirakan aku dari kecik. Daddy, do you know? You already have 2 cute granddaughters, Khadijah and Aisyah. Nama isteri2 Rasulullah. Cantikkan nama diorang? Dont you want to see and play with them? Oh god, I seriously cant open my eyes right now. Waterfall really bad.
Semoga Ayah tenang kat sana, I’m happy to write this letter to you cos I’m really missed to talk to you. Read this anytime you free. Doakan Hada kuat ayah. I have been broken for so long.
Goodnite daddy, Love you so much.
20/07/2017 2307.