Just let me write a post. I donow what else to doooooo. I wanna scream. I have been here at this clinic for almost 2 hoursssss. Ohmaigodd. I don't know which website more to browse. Done read a lot of blogs until reach my reading limit point, scrolling down an instagram and facebook until there's no more post that can attract my attention. Huargghhh. Really boring. It's not I donot want to accompany my mum. It's just aaaa please let me do somethingggg. The thing that i really hope exist in front of me right now is a laptop with wifi! I wanna finish my work. Everything is approaching the date-line and I still have a lot to finish. What a holiday -..-

Thirsty. Dry throat.

Why dont this clinic provides water? K fine everything costs money nowaday, at least selling water.

That nurse at the registration counter is so sweet. I like to see her face. Glowing.

And that child is so wild running around the clinic. I guess his behavior gonna annoy someone-people who sick or having a head-ache. But obviously not me. Coz I'm so heartless to care. 

Okay. Finally our nombor pop-up on the que screen.

***

Done assisting my mum saw the doctor, and he asked her to xray her chest.

Good.

At least 3hours of waiting earlier was not just 'okay, take your medicine and dont forget to eat it'.

Once the xray result came up, doc said it's weirddd. So he asked my mum for blood test check.

So now we are in front of the makmal counter waiting for the result.

3 hours ticking.......

Okay everything is done for today. Lets go home. And I need to come here again tomorrow pheww.

Lets eat mommy. Wish you get fully recover really fast!

Need to drive. Mommy is nagging like a heavy rain beside. =.=

When you cant give an excuse to finish up your works.

Last week, on Saturday, my cousin had an engagement in Senawang, Negeri Sembilan. So, my big families came here all the way from Dungun on Friday. My younger brother & I went there on Saturday’s morning. It was raining cat and dog along the way from Pj-Cheras-Seremban-Senawang.

I was not participating much in the event because I was too drowned with my niece as she’s more attractive to me and I missed her so so so much!! Hihi. K actually I know nothing much bout the event. So after everything was done, we were separating again. My brother was going back to Neram, Irdina was crying so bad as she didnt want to leave me "Nak Mida, Nak Mida" Ohmaigod, my heart broke to pieces heard her loud crying voice and her tears keep falling down. Cant lie, my eyes were teary too. It was so saaaaadddddddddddd. My grandma, my mum and Kak were still there. So, I took them. I took them to a secret holiday. Hahaha. They knew nothing bout where are we going to go and to stay. From Seremban we flied back to Kuala Lumpur. I booked the hotel at the last minutes. Phewww lucky, there was a few left, but with the higher price *cryinggggggg*. And along the way, my grandma cant stop asking me bout where are we going to hahahaha just follow la nenek *smirk*

We arrived at 500pm and took a rest. At night my brother took us out for dinner. And to uptown Danau Kota. I want to show them the madness night of Kuala Lumpur, but hmm wrong choice I guess. They cant stay there for the long time. But still we arrived back to hotel at 12+am. Hahahahaha. Naughty grandchild. We never going out with this late right. Please excuse for this.

On the next day, we checkout at 9am and I took them to the SOGO.
I hoped I chose the best place this time. Hihi

By 1pm, we were heading home. Since it's still early, I planned to make a stop at Kuantan with my brother's family to have dinner. But he's so lazy to get out.

You know what is the most annoying s*ckg thing to me?

When you are so tired and dream to sleep longer but you just cant. 

I always having this problem!! 

*cryingggg*

I slept at 1am last night and I currently on my red-cycle period, wishing to wake up at 8am.
But once my eyes are wide open at 6am, there's no more sleeping time. 

Dear eyes, sleeeppp sleeeppp. 

Dear mind, what are you messy thinking about? 

We have a lot things to do today at the office.

 Lets rest more while we've a chance. Ahh. Always.

Happy Friday btw! 

Cant wait for the long break and meet my family tomorrow! 

Look. What is that.

It's me, holding a cup of instant noodle outside of house. At Night.

It's 2236pm by now. Writing this with my back rests heavenly on bed (finaaaaallyyy), towel twists on my head and earphone stucks in my ears. River of tears by Alessandra Cara play in the background. For the thousand times i keep repeat that song today. I'm just finished enjoying 15 minutes of cold shower after coming home late from the office. My eyes are about to close.

I'm tired.

For the first time, i wish time could ticking slower during the office hour. This is so ridiculous for me. Short while ago, when I saw Keith walk passed me with the bag and ready to leave the office, I was wondering why he is going back too early. Then I tot 'oh maybe he has urgent'. And suddenly everyone was cleaning up the table and picking up their bag, I was like 'heyy waitt where are you guys going? Oh what? it's already 530pm??!'

For the God's sake, I still have a lot things to do. And for the first time being, i wish lets it be 3pm again.

Crazy!
Nobody ever wishes that okay!!

Actually, this month is the shortest working days i gonna have. I only work for 13 days instead of 23 days. Hehehehehehe. Had a week of MC, a day of EL, 2 days of public leave and gonna have 3 days of AL for Hari Raya Haji later. So all of my wooorrrrksssss have to be done before this Friday in which I've 3 days left.

So i need to sacrifice myself to stay back now.

Actually, the point I wanna highlight here is I'm so tired and i'm going to sleep now in a couple of minutes with the empty stomach again. So that instant noodle in the picture? I don't like instant noodle, and it has been a-very-long-time-ago since i ate it. I just bought it because i feel guilty to my stomach as I've nothing to offer. Yeah i wont eat it.  I'm a lil bit disappointed now because i promised myself i wont skip dinner anymore. But sleeping seem more delicious right now.

Biane.

*************************************************************************

Damnnnn. Woke up at 3 and my stomach hurt again! 

Arghhhhh. Cant sleep!

I remembered the words that my late father said to me 5 years ago. At ward in hospital, right after he ended the call with my sister/brother. He said to me, "..orang yg sakit ni bukannya nok harapkan org datang ramai-ramai, mari bagi buah, tapi cukuplah kalau ada yang tanya khabar, anak-anak call cakap dengan ayoh setiap hari, bagi semangat, yang sakit pun tetiba boleh baik..." 

I remembered every single words that he said....

*cry silently*

...and now i can feel how he felt before. A small wish and dua from someone that can booster our spirit to get up and energize again. 

Thanks for your concern friends. I'm so touched. 

May Allah repays your kindness to me. 

....and moving on seem harder when the one you love moves faster than you.....

Allah created both day and night. If it's dark in your life right now, be patient. The sun always rises. And if it's light right now, be thankful. But know that the sun also set. Praise your Maker for both the night and the day, and know that He never sets...

Have Faith, Noni ❤

There are a lot of fun things we can do to cheer up yourself. We have many options to choose. We can go to kitchen and cook or bake (love this), we can hike or jog at peaceful park, we can talk to our mum until she get tired of our questions (always did this), we can watch a movie (tengok free online movie kat phone je heeeeeee), playing makeup (never did this), or if you feeling so exhausted, you can just choose to sleep.

I chose some yesterday. I chose to meet my friends who can cheering me up. I chose to be surround with the happy people. And to make my day feel so pretty, i doing all the stuffs started from the time i woke up with happy and blooming heart.  Woke up early, wore nice cloth, put some make-up, grabbed breakfast (it's special because I always skipped), sang loudly in a car and read more below :)

Life is pretty awesome when we (1)always remind ourself to be grateful, (2)counts our own blessings- without realizing, we  got too much blessing/things that we never asked for and (3)dont ever compare your life with others. Okay, dont believe me? Try to count your blessing now...can you? Ain't it too much? That's what I always scold (because I'm stubborn) to myself whatever i felt down. True, it's so hard to advise our ownselves. I try to be positive now (walaupun macam poyo ah ko) so lets just let me be in this vibe for a while and write what I wanna say. hahahaha. ( i just wanna read this again someday and wish I will grateful for the life)

A key to be happy is always love what you do and try to do what you love.

I chose to spend my weekend with my besties,
so, how about you?

0140AM

For past a year, sleeping has been my favourite thing as it fades the sorrow and cures my heart.
I find peace in sleep and a regrettion once I wake up.

I should be sleeping right now but this heart refuses to and here I am still lingering my fingers, touching letters at this blank screen.

Keep staring at all of photos again and again.

How beautiful it was and how painful it becomes.

Setiap yang hadir, bukan sia sia.
Dan setiap yang pergi, bukan tanpa hikmah.
Walau dalam mana pun luka yang ditinggal,
Pasti itu yang terbaik.
Setiap inci yang terjadi dalam hidup telah Allah rencanakan sempurna tanpa cela.

Ya Allah,
izinkan air mata ini jatuh saat duka,
namun jangan biarkan bibir ini merungut tanda tiada redha.

Allah jika ini satu ujian, terus kuatkan aku, tahan aku dari rebah,

pimpin aku dari terus ke lorong yang salah.
Cukup lah sekali moga tiada lagi.

A friend tagged me on this ;

Dont wait for someone to tell youwho you are and what you are

or what you supposed to be.

Its should not be heal because somebody else likes you..

It should be heal because you believe something good about yourself.

What others think of you should not be matter so much.

Focus on yourself,

on improving yourself...

Be the best you can be!

Thanks Kak Dila

Selamat malam sayang.

It has been threee dayssss since i keep repeating to this songgg.

Why dearrrrr whyyyyyy???!!

Hawa was sending me home and we were out for late lunch.

And in the car ;

"Noni, noni ade masalah?"

"Hahhh? Bakpee?"

"Hawa tengok Noni macam rusing je dari tadi, macam thinking of something..."

"Hmm...?"

"Macam tadi kalau aku biar je mu sorang, aku drive je, mu macam di awan-awanan...termenung jauh fikirkan something, you look worried and sedih..."

"....it has been a year Hawa...." I Tried to draw a fake smile. It has been a year Hawa since i drown with these memories in my head, how to let it go?....i keep it to myself.

I awared that I was being rush. Eat rush & pay rush..Idk but I just thinking 'you should be fast Hawa or if not you be stuck in the traffic jam by 5pm.' But I just keep that words in my head.

Hell Noniiii! Wake uppppp.

Or maybe I'm just tired 6 hours in the car or suddenly homesick after being 6 hours away from home. 

Or maybe im still not fully recovery.

phewww -.-' lets take a rest.

Wow look at the title again. Hahahaha. Its tickle my heart and make me wanna burst my laugh out loud but I need to keep quiet as baby Aisyah is sleeping a few metres from me now. But seriously that title just come up after being more than 2 years of auntie? Weeeellll, the mood just come out when i'm holding my youngest niece (not even pass her 40-days) just now, indirectly make me feel so lovely & drag me to write this post besides i never write anything bout my baby-fruits so lets me start with this one post before i get total 7 of them playing loudly around the house.

Currently, i've two nieces. One from my brother and one from my sister.

My oldest niece, Khadijah Nur Irdina was born 2 and half years ago. Ain't her name is so pwetty? Silently admit, I'm not into baby/toddler for the past time being, but once Irdina was born, Masha Allah i suddenly admire all babies around the world. The love is blooming just like that. I keep asking for Irdina's photo for everyday and i wont care if her parents feel annoyed for that hehehe. Everything she does is so cute and adorable. I could stare long at her photo, even make her photo as my phone's wallpaper! and dont get bored to watch over and over her videos. Honestly, half of my phone's memory now is full with her charms. All my love suddenly goes straight to her. Everytime we meet, i will quickly take her away from her parents unless she is fall asleep or crying bad. And dont worry she doesn't hesitate to come over me because she loves me hard too. Hikhiks

Thats not yet include when i go to the mall or even to the supermarket, everytime my eyes catch a cute's baby things, i cant stop dragging my legs to not step closer to the store. Seriously a new-auntie-being syndrome. I feel like wanna buy all of that beautiful dress to her and I guess i spent more money buying Irdina's clothes than mine. Why doess all the baby dresses look so cuteeeee. But it's kind of satisfaction everytime seeing my niece keep wearing my gift.

And my second niece's name is Aisyah Sakinah. My mum gave her first name. Ain't its beautiful? Aisyah & Khadijah. Both of Rasullullah SAW's beautiful wives' name. Hope their names will resemble with their akhlak.

I never been along longer with any pregnancy woman before this. My sister is the first one. I never witness the woman's struggle of 9 months pregnancy. And watching my sister went thru a lot really open my eyes, it's not easy dushh. My sister puke until her baby turning 9 months in stomach T_T. I'm not that strongggggg. But i'm sure everytime she watches her daughter now her yesterday's suffers were really worth.

Dear Khadijah & Aisyah,

Thanks for coming into Umida's life. I feel so warmth. Keep on cheerish to your small family. Umida wishes you can grow up so well, good, healthy and intelligence.

Umida cant concentrate to write longer, Nenek dah bising suruh Mida solat thehehe

I love you both ❤

So after 5 painful days in KL, i decided to go home to receive a better treatments which are mommy's attention and her cooks. Thanks Hawa for offering a ride! Its always better to have a company than alone. So Dungun, here I come!

I'm imagine myself lying all day on a bed and eating for six times a day but an hour since i get my body rest, mommy "Hada, jom bawok mok g pasar minggu..."

Dreams crash.

Eyes off.

Monday, 050817

Writing with the left hand rubbing hard my stomach. Ya Allah i cant desribe the pain. It's more than 30 times since i walk back and forth to the toilet. Luckily the toilet is just 10 steps away. Huh, i dont want to imagine if I were in the office which i need to run from north to south and i think i will do my business at the midway. Guess how many spenders that will cost.

The pain & fever started on Saturday's night which I had a sleepover with my friends that day!! Can you imagine, i'm the one who is the most excited bout this gathering, end up i'm the one who cant even wake up. I started to diarrhea for a couple of times, and having a high fever. I made a guess with the temperature by putting my back hand on the forehead, it is 40°C!!! Not kidding.

While my friends were having a girl night talk, sharing story to each others at the living room, I'm just lying painly in the room, pushing hard my stomach. Trying to put myself on sleep but obviously i cant. It was so hurt. My body went hotter. I cant join them, i tried to ear drop their story but it went useless as my brain was too tired. Then later they came one by one into the room and decided to accompany me along until 1AM. Izaty found a handkerchief and put it on my head. It was so good to be surrounded with a good friends. God bless me.

I slept with sweat.

And woke up a couple of times to the toilet.

Woke up for Subuh with a very heavy head. Pray, and cant afford more to stand,  I just want to lie down.

At 11AM we were getting ready for checkout but I cant drive home. My energy level dropped to 10%. Cant eat,  cant open the eyes. They were decided to send me home. From Kajang to Petaling Jaya. They also sent me to clinic even I refused a lot, ''No, its okayyyyyy I'm okay I can go by myself later'' *Seriously you are okay???* Yes, I'm the most stubborn person. God bless me with such lovely friends.

Look what Nadirah got me here. She is so sweet. Cooked me a bubur eventho she was tired, made me air teh pekat before she's going to office, and she even put a wet towel on my head before i sleep. May God bless you too.

Woke up again for a couple of times to the toilets.

****

Writing this from Ward 6D bed 7, Hospital Ampang right now.

090817

The pain doesn't want to stop. I requested to do a blood test this morning at Clinic Sea Park (3rd clinic i went) eventho the doc said im okay, just a little diarrhea from food poisoning. Whateva, what diarrhea cost 4 days?

(I dont know why suddenly i got so emo and cried so hard in the back of uber's car. I saw he peeked me weirdly -or nervously- from the middle mirror hewhewhew sorry mister, i've a bad day)

So, i got the call at Maghrib from the clinic saying "Miss, your blood test has come out, your RB, WB and platelets are okay, but for IGG and IGM there are positive and negative...Docter will give you a letter for hospital's reference....."

It's so a breaking-heart-moment-time.

Do.i.need.to.go.to.the.hospital.

Jaja//Me : "Noni, jangan lupa bawok baju spare incase kena masuk wad.." // "Heyyy, mu nak suruh aku masuk wad kee? Aku sihat lah..."

But it was how it went. Here is I now. I can't hide the tears once i heard docter said "Blood test tunjuk awak ada positive denggi, so awak kne admit wad for 2/3 hari utk pantauan..." "Tapi saya dah baik demam pun dokter" Smiling bright and trying to act strong as much as I could. "Tu yang lagi bahaya, second phase of dengue, lepas fasa demam..." "Boleh saya masuk wad kat kampung?" "Nope" "Hulur tangan saya nak masukkan jarum utk air japgi.."

Zupppp. The body turned into ice.

Walking out to my brother and friends with waterfall. How Could This Happened Again?!.

************

Updated : It's not a dengue guys. Still waiting for the blood test result.

MC for a week.

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3

I woke up with a heavy heart, today is the last day, means this trip going to be end. While others were still sleeping, I walked to the balcony, having a little time for myself, watching the seaview scenery for the last time and unconsiously taking a deep breath. I felt so down but I felt so blessed too. Internally, I missed someone, someone who was leaving me. I cant bear the sadness and i cried by myself. A group of birds witness to my tears. Nevermind Noni, stay strong. *inhale a very deep & long breath* So, then I walked back inside and peeked at the clock. It’s already 8AM. Time to wake up the girls. We promised to go swim! Yes! Pool time!

So after one hour of driving from Shah Alam, we arrived at the Pantai Indah Seaview Resort (near to Pantai Remis & The Cabin), Kuala Selangor. We cleaned ourselves, prayed, and have a short rest (Not really rest bcse we can’t stop from chatting). Setting a time for the next activity is a must to make sure we are not late or miss the next activity. So after Asar, we agreed to get ready for the photoshot time!

We've planning to reminisce the old photo of us as a token of our aged-friendship. We must took a picture with the same position as the old one. It went so chaotic! I didn’t know it will go this hard. Hahaha. We spent almost an hour and snapped almost 50+ of pictures to make sure the photo are similar as before. It was so tired and I almost gave up! Thanks God, after putting so much effort, the photo were so pretty! We had so much laughing time.

Actually this is the main reason why we were choosing a very far hotel just to have a one night-sleep, in fact there are a lot of good hotels in Shah Alam. It was because of the beach & sunset! I requested for that. I requested to stay far away from the city and by that timevalready imagine ourselves walk down along the beach, laughing, smiling, holding our hands and relaxing our minds as much as we could. Ya, I know, I’m such a terrible day-dreamer (effect of watching too much romantic movies maybe). I don’t know but I go so crazy for the sunset. I really enjoy watching it slowly going down disappear and love the orange-red sky's color. It was so beautiful. I love to take pictures of sunset & sunrise wherever I went. After a week choosing for the place, here we go!! this place just hit the jackpot!

And Ain & Jihah said “I never sit and watching this beautiful scenery, thanks Noni” Awwww. See they fall in love too! This is a candid picture, yah except for me. I watched them, they are really enjoying this relaxing-time, they can’t keep their eyes away from the scenery.

 Bonding time.

And at night, after filled up our stomachs with the good food, we were getting ready to sleep! No, don’t imagine it was easy as lying on the mattress, scrolling down your phone, closing your eyes and then Good Night Girls! Oh, no, it never went that way. Sleeping with friends is the best bonding time together. Don’t go sleep with that easy. Our night was so alive and lovely. We brought out all the mattresses from 3 rooms and put it all together at the living room. We did the girl’s most loved thing ; Playing with Make-Up! We talked a lot about our past, catch up session with everything we missed, talked about a future like we have a clue, and motivated each other. They are so lovely. I’m in love with each of them. By 2AM we fall asleep. I really love you guys.