Noni Shuhada ❤: 2019

Hi my blog!

How I missed my time heree!! And how I regretted for abandoned this beautiful space. There are a lot that I wanna write but arghh. Lazy me lazy.

In less of one month and in less of 3 weeks and in less of 20 dayssss, I will change my status from Miss to Mrs. From single to occupied. Eeh? I'm never imagined myself will be counting for this moment. I'm never imagined myself will be handling so-fckng-much-preparation-to-do for my own wedding. And I'm never know the preparation is so fckg headache.

....but I'm proud of myself for handling the things well.

Okay, first, jom cakap pasal persiapan.

1. For the first 3 month, aku start survey all the things yang kena booking - contohnya pakej bridal, tempat and catering. Seriously, ni 3 the main things yang kena fikir masak-masak sebelum decide.

Bridal - Make sure pakej yang dia tawarkan within our budget, baju and pelamin yang dia ada kena dengan taste korang nak
Tempat - Part ni susah, banyak hati nak kena jaga. It was my dream to hold my wedding in a hall. Tapi your big family takkan setuju sangat - satu sebab membazir, dan lagi satu sebab it's not family-friendly. It was really made me 50-50.
Catering - Ikut budget dan yang paling penting - mestilah sedap & puas hati!
Photographer - Pun aku booking awal sebab sekarang taknak last minute and dah takde choice.

2. 5 months sebelum wedding, selepas dah bincang bebaik dengan tunang aku, so kiteorang decide untuk buat hantaran 9 dulang berbalas 7. Yang 9 dulang pihak perempuan lah.

Barang hantaran - Beli sikit-sikit and Alhamdulillah semua dah settle sekarang. Tinggal kek and buah je. Hantaran aku yang paling mahal ialah jam tangan sebab memang dah lamaaaaa sangat teringin nak pakai jangan tangan Fossil. Hehehe, melayang duit.
Barang nak buat gubahan - This one I think I spent around RM200. Aku buat sendiri hantaran, walaupun tak secantik kat kedai tapi aku memang nak buat sendiri. I want to enjoy the preparation.
Booking Ice Cream Booth
Beli baju sedondon untuk family.
Buat kad Kahwin

3. 3 bulan sebelum majlis, aku dah settle beli doorgift, start buat hantaran - memang agak awal sebab aku boleh buat hujung minggu je. Booking homestay for my friends and his family. Survey kek kahwin. Dan yang paling penting my mental and physical preparation!

So sekarang - less than one month - apa yang belum settle ialah decide baju bridemaids, cari tudung untuk nikah and sanding, and DECIDE PELAMIN. Ahhh, semua pelamin lawa aku tak tahu la nak pilih yang manaaaaa.

Stress?

Tipu lah kalau aku cakap tak stress. It's so damn stress. Especially bila banyak sangat mulut2 yang duk ngomen. Dan yang paling stress ialah pasal baju sanding aku yang aku tak berapa berkenan - but i've to wear that. Blurrghh. Gerammmm! I customade baju sanding aku, I gave them the example yang aku nak but the result was totally differenttt! Aku nangis okaayy tengok baju. Aku menjerit a few times. Ni lah part paling stress. Sampai kan last minit rasa nak pergi sewa baju lain geram sangat. Stress lagi satu bila beli tudung online - gambar warna lain tapi dapatnya warna lain. Aihhh mmg aku dgn beli barang online ni tak pernah bekerjasamalaaahh!

Preparation Mental?

Meh aku cerita. Sila sediakan popcorn sesiap ye hahaha. First aku nak ucapkan terima kasih banyak-banyak kat tunang aku sebab he's so damn patience dengan aku. Aku rasa aku memang banyak sangat buat hal dalam tempoh 8 bulan dah aku bertunang. Masa first 3 months tu, aku memang goyang sangat, aku takde lelaki lain pun tapi perasaan nak get over this relationship sangaaat sangaaat kuat. Aku ingat lagi masa dia datang jumpa aku 3 hari kat KL. For the straight 3 days aku layan dia acuh tak acuh and I cried like seriously cried. Aku rasa mmg keputusan aku buat untuk bertunang ni salah. Idk whyy. Dan dia sangat sangatlah supportive. Whatever aku buat dia akan support. Aku takde orang lain tapi mungkin sebab I was so comfortable for being single, when suddenly aku dalam relationship aku rasa suffocated sangat. Aku rasa nak being alone.

Aku doa banyak banyak then things get better. Sampai lagi 4 bulan nak kawin, I told my mum aku taknak kawin, tetiba aku rasa aku tak ready, tetiba aku rasa he is not the one. My family knew my situation dan mereka sangat-sangat bagi support kat aku. Memang macam ni ke semua orang rasa? Aihhh.

Mungkin aku rasa masa tu mental aku memang tak fully bersedia lagi - because there're things yang aku kena sacrifice once I get married. Aku takut nak hadap masa depan. And masa tu mungkin aku tak nampak apa yang lebih tapi aku selalu tengok apa yang kurang sampai aku lupa nak bersyukur with what Allah gave me.

He's not perfect and so do I. Tapi sebab kita terlalu tengok kehidupan orang lain sampai kita tercompare dalam hidup kita. Why we cant be like how they become? Why I dont get tthings like how that couple got? As times go by, I learn banyak benda dan banyak benda aku kena berkorban dan bersyukur dalam hidup aku. He may not be perfect, but now I know he's the one Allah match to me. Thank you awak for always being there everytime saya buat hal. You should learn a lot lagi pasal perempuan ni because diorang takkan buat things lagi mudah hahahaha ada je benda nak cari pasal. Tapi saya tak macam tu pun.

Oklah this is what I can write for tonite. There's nothing more that I pray but a smooth journey of my wedding day and bright days of our future. With him happily till the last of my breath. Amin.

Till then xoxo

1 comments

Alhamdulillah. Things went well. Settle part taaruf, settle part jumpa family, settle part beli cincin, so 05022019 haritu, settle dah my majlis pertunangan. I'm so tiredddddddddddddddddddd honestly. Aku balik kampung haritu 3 hari sebelum majlis, semua benda benda nak kena settle dalam masa 3 hari tu ; nak kemas rumah all out, nak pergi beli cincin, nak g tempah nasi untuk majlis dan nak settle kan dulang hantaran. Gila tak penat. In 3 dayssssssssss!! + kena look after anak buah 2 ketul, aku lah yg bawak g jalan, yang mandiakan yang layankan huuuuuuuuu. Penat tu memang tapi tak terasa sangat sbb seronok & meriah! Because everyone was at home!

Firstly, kalau ada kawan-kawan yang baca pasal post ni, I'm deeply sorry kalau aku tak invite or tak bagitau pasal majlis ni. I want to keep it as low as I could tapi dah ade a few gambar yang terlepas, so, ada lah jugak a few kawan2 yang personal messages cakap tak bagitau. huhuhu sorry jangan sentap yeeee, tunang kan takleh heboh2 :p really thanks for the dua btw! :)

So, nak cerita start dari mana ni, blur pulak.

1. Tarikh decide nak tunang ni lebih kurang sebulan je - which is lepas dah jumpa family akhir bulan 12 ritu. Nak cakap senang sangat sangat tu tak jugak, ade je part yang orang tak setuju. Part yang aku nangis sangat2 sebab terasa hati, tapi tu lah, kena cekalkan hati. Jangan peduli apa orang kata sangat. Part hati tetiba rasa tak pasti pun ada jugak. Tapi macam tak layan sangat sebab kalau nak layan aku punya overthinking ni sampai sudah tak abis. Inshaallah, he is the one.

2. Pelamin - Rm0. Terima kasih kat sepupu sebab bagi pinjam barang2 pelamin, bunga2 semua. Dia bagi pinjam alat semua, aku and family deco sendiri. Takleh la nak demand lebih2 sebab barang limited. Tapi bila tengok hasil dia, perghhhhh takde lah cikai sangat. Sis suka.

3. Makeup. Rm70. I requested for natural look. Puas hati gilaaaa.

4. Makan. - Majlis start lepas zohor. Waktu orang nak makan tengah hari. So, takleh nak order mee kesian kat tetamu lapar. Aku order nasi ayam untuk 100pax/Rm5.50. Alhamdulillah cukup & sedap! Air sirap n sunquick. Kuih, laksa penang, kek semua orang sponser. Banyak gila side dishes. Banyak gila gila. Terima kasih semua yang sponser! Sis terharu.

5. Hantaran. - Tapak hantaran aku pinjam kazen aku punya. Barang2 and bunga aje beli. Kos semua campur bunga dalam rm300 jugak huhu. Banyak jugak rupanya.

Plannya nak buat 5-3, tapi end up jadi 5-5

6. Cincin. Alkisahnya cincin, kiteorang plan nak beli satu je cincin. So, masa dah siap pilih nak bayar tu tetiba akak tu suruh pilih satu lagi sbb dia nak bagi percuma-tapi syaratnya kena ambik yang permata jugak. I was like whhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!! Huhuhu Alhamdulillah, so, jadinya aku dapat lah dua bentuk cincin.

Alhamdulillah majlis berjalan dengan lancar. Everyone is happy so do I. Thank you everyone for help me out! This cant be happened without my backbone, family.

Hopely we both can love and take good care of this relationship till forever.

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Am I the only one yang rasa bulan January tahun ni has no end? There are a lot of things that happened recently that makes me feel so damn tired. Bukan nya tired fikizal macam buat kerja berat tu tapi penat kat mental. Personal & office-thingy. Sampaikan rasa went to the office on Monday fuhhh penat dia macam dah kerja sampai Thursday. Macam nak tunggu gaji on 25th aritu fuhhh macam dua bulan dah tak dapat gaji. January flies so slowwwww.

A month flies, but still this diary is blank. I'm not shocked either.

Lets see what were happened to me this month.

1. No Saving.

I dont want to say it loud but as this site is my other half, I should write this down. In a few days I'm getting enganged ; in February. So January is my preparation-month. Memang banyak gila guna duit (Rm600). Until I've no saving at all. Plus, bulan ni kena renew insurance& roadtax motor (Rm131) plus service motor (Rm144) plus tukar tayar kereta (Rm320), beli langsir (rm700) plus g Johor for Hawa's wedding. Memang gaji for January yang left : minus. Cerita dia how i survived? ; Korek Tabung.

2. Serabut with the preparation.

Sekarang baru aku rasa. It's not easy to hold a ceremony especially when you are so far away. I really really want to do everything by myself, tapi Ya Allah, trust me, you cant conduct an event when you're not presence at that place. Dont everr dream. Dengan nak ulang alik booking nasi. Nak kemas rumah pun stuck. Nak buat hantaran pun xboleh sbb things are at kampung. Nak pasang langsir pun tak boleh. So howwwwwwwwwwwww. You will need a helper. Serabut gila kepale otak. A few days left tapi preparation baru 40% hahahaha.

3. Done with vaccine.

Alhamdulillah, abis dah ambik vaccine kat PPUM. Done my 3rd dose. The stupid thing was, aku terpaksa menapak kat PPUM tu dua kali sebab tersalah tarikh pergi. Adoi suck betul rasa. Dah la nak pergi tu malas dah. Bila pergi tak boleh nak ambik injection pulak. Hmm bertabahlah.

4. Irdina Hilang.

This happened end of December, but it kept stuck in my mind so lets count it in too. End of last December, abang aku datang KL, sebab dia ada interview. So, sementara dia pergi interview, he asked me to stay with Kak Ain, mak and the kids at Sogo. To look after. Aku bawak Irdina pergi satu kawasan playground dlm Sogo ni. But in a second, she was missing. sesaat sebelum tu betul2 dia depan mata aku. Oh God, my body turns cold. Heart beat fast. I directly called Kak Ain in case Irdina was with her. Tapi malangnya tidak. I searched her around but she was not there. Mak xyah cakap la, dah cemas dah. I kept recited doa & ayat-ayat alQuran and in 10minutes, I found her. She was looking for a toilet by herself. I was so thankful. Donow how to describe if she was gone T.T. Dont even dare to imagine. (Blaming self)

5. My Biological Clock

I dont know why I feel so f* tired. Banyak sgt kali ni aku akan tidur balik lepas Subuh. Dia punya mengantuk tu pergh level xleh bawak berbincang. Padahal tidur takdelah lewat sgt pun. And bila dh tertidur balik pas Subuh, for sure akan bangun semput semput je nak bersiap and so i keep skipping Solat Dhuha. and tahajud pun sama, lama nya tak buat. I feel soooooo f*ckg bad and hating myself.

6. My Work Life

This is the my-most stressful thing & journey in January. As you're taking more responsible in your job, more burden yang you akan rasa. More tasks, more responsiblility, and ofkos, the chance you will do mistakes is high. And that was the things that happened to me. I was so fucked up this month as I did a few stupid silly mistakes that should not be happened. And I'm blaming myself a lot for that. And its suck. Because of this I think i'm might be getting anxiety disorder. Nauzubillah, mintak jauh. But it's so fucking tired and frust.

7. BFF Trip to Johor for Hawa's Wedding.

It is always my dream to watch my bff in a beautiful wedding dress. I couldnt make it on her nikah day kat Terengganu so, as we promised to be with her, so we decided to go yang belah lelaki punya. Aku Jihah n Dibah. It was sooooooooooooo fun. Kiteorang pergi danga bay, pasar karat, ambik gambar kat deck. It was so fun! No lie.