i actually have been one hour looking at this blank and white screen page. 

just look, thinking, prepare my fingers to press each button of keyboard, 

but for one hour, i still cant tell everything.

a lot things i want to write, a bundle things there are in my mind,

i seriously want and need to write and later then i just say to myself..

"ahh, forget it, i dont want to think about it anymore"

but truth, i did. shame on me. 

Aku rase berdosa, tapi dalam mase yang same tak dapat nak atasi.

Aku rase sia-sia, tapi tak pandai nak bendung.

Aku tahu aku tak patut buat semua ni tapi aku tak mampu.

Realitinya aku memang sayang kau, tapi hati aku sakit tak terubat . . . 

see? actually, i dont want to talk about it anymore, but my heart do. 

I say i dont to think about it anymore but my mind do. 

why i cant go far? because we're close. 

very close, too close, Exactly close.  

"A person can apologize and we can forgive them, 

but sometimes we just can't forget the pain that they gave."

-i honestly this kind of person.

sorry, friend. 

for the 3rd time this 'thing' happened again. 

why why whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

are u still cant accept me?

fuuhh. fenat.