How could you !
representing...
dum dum duummmm.
my Momo & Mimi. ohh, okey jangan nak perasan sangat. bukan aku punye pon ekceli, adik aku yang punye. Tauke tempat die kerja kasi. ape motif lah tauke die tu kasi, baik sungguh, aku rase menatang ni sekali dengan sangkar and mainan nak sampai beratus jugak kan? yeke? baik sungguh tauke adik aku nihh (Y)
yang gemuk tu nama Momo and the smaller one nama Mimi. sukeati cekodok pisang aku je taruk name. haha. dah tu ade ke patut aku tanye adik aku name dia ape?, selambe je dia jawab "hamster". Gua tau lah derr~
Aku tak pernah berpengalaman bela hamster, kalau ayam, burung puyuh, burung, kucing(takyah cakap lah) tu pernah lah jugak so, aku tak tau banyak pasal binatang ni, tapi aku tengok hamster ni bila malam-malam time takde orang tibe-tibe dia pergi panjat pagar besi dan gigit.
Mungkin dia dah bosan kot, hidup dalam cengkaman manusia. tak bebas. segera aku teringatkan diri sendiri. nampak bebas tapi tak sebenarnya. hidup bukan main hanya ikut kaki melangkah. ada peraturan, ada tujuannya. Akur.
i actually have been one hour looking at this blank and white screen page.
just look, thinking, prepare my fingers to press each button of keyboard,
but for one hour, i still cant tell everything.
a lot things i want to write, a bundle things there are in my mind,
i seriously want and need to write and later then i just say to myself..
"ahh, forget it, i dont want to think about it anymore"
but truth, i did. shame on me.
Aku rase berdosa, tapi dalam mase yang same tak dapat nak atasi.
Aku rase sia-sia, tapi tak pandai nak bendung.
Aku tahu aku tak patut buat semua ni tapi aku tak mampu.
Realitinya aku memang sayang kau, tapi hati aku sakit tak terubat . . .
see? actually, i dont want to talk about it anymore, but my heart do.
I say i dont to think about it anymore but my mind do.
why i cant go far? because we're close.
very close, too close, Exactly close.
"A person can apologize and we can forgive them,
but sometimes we just can't forget the pain that they gave."
-i honestly this kind of person.
sorry, friend.
for the 3rd time this 'thing' happened again.
why why whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
are u still cant accept me?
fuuhh. fenat.
"only a friend can tell u whether u're the bad or good friend. not YOURSELF !!!!!"
i admit. the hard thing to hold very tight is friendship.
but it's not the hardest thing, can be the easiest one sometime.
from what i've learnt, and from all of my experiences,
we can easily making friends, but to hold them forever in our hug is hard thing to do.
adat berkawan. kadang-kadang ketawa, kadang-kadang terluka.
kadang-kadang bergembira dan kadang-kadang bersedih.
its will become a best moments in your life to be remember forever,
if u can get along with yr friend for the long long period of time.
it's sweet thing to have, if u promise each other to be friend forever after and did it !
tapi tak dapat nak nafikan jugak sebab kawan, hidup kita boleh jadi porak peranda
sekelip mata, sebab kawan jugak kita boleh bertukar menjadi orang yang lain.
lain behavior. kawan makan kawan. kawan penting diri.
pemilihan kawan whether baik atau buruk adelah perkara yang akan
memberi effect yang sangat sangat besar dalam hidup seseorang.
"Making a million friends is not a Miracle,
A Miracle is to make a friend,
who will stand by you when millions are against you..."
i guess i've experiences a lot of friends before.
and ol each of them give the different effect to me.
and the one who can make me feel better whenever i feel down
and make me laugh whenever i feel sorrow,
are the true one i should be glad to hold to.
SAHABAT YANG BAIK IALAH SAHABAT YANG BOLEH TERIMA
SEGALA KEKURANGAN, BAIK BURUK KAWAN YANG LAIN.
PIMPIN TANGAN BILA KAWAN JATUH,
LAPKAN AIR MATA BILA KAWAN MENANGIS.
BOLEH STAY CLOSER BILA KAWAN KATA GO AWAYY !!!!
and my bestest friend forever is my mum. i love you mum.
no any misunderstanding or any speculation needed. fullstop.
and finally, this thing happened again. for the second time. and suddenly, after all of this shocked, i dont know which one road should i take. i dont know which one better for you. i'm tired of bury my tears and my soul inside. if and only if u know, i'm hurt too. but i cant say anything, out all of this, its seem, yes, my fault.
am i unable to understanding you?
are u so sure?
i thought all of my actions done today are because i understand yu.
but again, it doesnt seem like that.
ntah lah, even, i've a lot things to let go, but i feel like i've no word more to say.
every word i said seem wrong. i'm tired to go through all of this again.
honestly,
in my life, i live with my own principle. i try to defense it for my beautiful valuable life.
i've my own motivations. i want to grow up well by a proper way. i want to enjoy
and appreciate every single thing what are happened to me. aku cuba untuk bentuk diri aku jangan
jadi orang yang lemah. aku cuba untuk tidak mudah sentap, untuk mudah terase dengan
orang lain. aku cuba tebalkan hati aku. aku belajar semua tu. aku cuba.
i learnt everything step by step.
aku teringin nak sangat jadi macam lilin. aku mampu berbakti untuk orang sekeliling aku,
walaupun aku sakit, aku cuba untuk curahkan kebaikan, curahkan kasih sayang sebanyak mungkin.
even, there is no one thanks me, thats okay for me. aku tak kisah, sebab aku pegang dengan prinsip,
untuk semua benda yang kita buat jangan harapkan balasan dari orang,
bersyukur kat Allah, berdoa kat Allah, Alhamdulillah, dengan kudrat yang
Allah kurniakan kita mampu berbakti. no need others appreciation,
Allah know what the best for me. aku pegang sangat dengan kata-kata ni.
dulu, kawan-kawan aku stay in a phrase :
"THERE IS NO SORRY AND THANK YOU IN FRIENDSHIP"
memang masing-masing tak pernah berkira to help each other,
walaupun kadang-kadang terluka dengan lain-lain takde sape yang pernah pendam dalam hati.
tapi sekarang, aku sedar. tak semua orang boleh terima phrase tu.
repay back? unpredictable thing for me. sorry.
i dont know how to say it. dan sekarang ianya seolah olah, we've two different way
to grow up. i cant enter in yr world and yu too.
i'm tired of trying.
what i just want to say is i'm sorry if after ol of this, i cant be the one that u knew before.
u want me to change, so, i will. i try.
later on, dont try to ask me something else.
i have my heart. i have my pride. i have my dignity.
welcome home, the passive me.
