No one ever wants bad thing happened in their life. But anyway, there is in certain time, eventho we had give our best, shit happened at the outcome.

I believe I am a strong person. Faced a bucket of troubles, and still, managed to smile as i know every problem has its own solution. All you need to do are to accept and fix the mistakes, learn from them, improve yourself and move forward. I feel immune if the problem involve only me, but when it involved others, it really bother me, make me uneasy and worried so frkg bad.

March was the worst-hard time for me in my career. I did careless mistakes which I shouldnt do. I've been so sad & demotivated - because I tried to provide the best ; but shits happened anyhow. I felt so grumpy of myself. It was so worst. Even the boss of the boss asked me if I'm in the good condition or not. Wish I've pintu suka hati from Doraemon to travel back & fix things. I'm so embarrassed.

Since that case, I've become traumatized.

Good thing is ; I always double check everything I did
Bad thing is ; my self-confidence has been at the flat level.

Had one-to-one session with my boss and I ended up burst in tears.


Idk how to describe the feeling. But honestly my heart feels so uneasy & heavy. I felt like I carry a lot of unnecessary-burden on my back. Its stuck. The guilty. The unconfident. The sadness. The responsiblity. The afraid feeling to face tomorrow. The blame.


Silently. I fight with my feeling and it turns me to being someone I dont want to.



I wish April comes with ease and I no longer doing a stupid silly mistakes.

Go, go away........

It has been yearsss since the last time I played futsal. Play once again yesterday with the officemates and I felt so superb good. Walaupun berat gila dah nak lari sebab jarang exercise but the feeling was so satisfied! Dah la tengah stress gila otak berserabut then tetiba rest jap bersukan fuhhhh release gila, best gila dapat have fun jap. Beza gila dia punya internal feeling bila jogging or hiking. Sebab aku rase bila hiking & jogging otak aku still lagi serabut and rase tak mencapai satisfication yang maksimum. And this time jerit jerit dengan kawan-kawan I feel extremely happy. 

I made 3 goals!!! ❤️